


wishing for something real (in this world full of you)

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, M/M, Starts out fluffy, ends with shitty angst, ok but the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:48:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8386054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: mark misses jackson





	

mark woke up in his room, jackson's comfortingly strong arm slung across his stomach. the sunlight flooding through the blinds has the room brightly lit, and he smiles. he hasn't felt this well rested in a while. jackson wakes up soon after and he grins widely for someone who looks so tired. mark loved waking up next to his love like this, the city buzzing below them.

"good morning, my love," mark whispered, feeling jackson's lips softly kiss his neck.

"hmm? good morning," jackson says in his deep morning voice, his lips trailing up from mark's neck to his lips. "gross, i can taste your morning breath."

"today feels different. like a dream, almost. i haven't been this happy waking up in so long," mark said softly. he kissed jackson again amd savored the feeling, as though he would never feel it again.

"i haven't seen you this happy in a while. you should smile more. it suits you." jackson's eyes glittered in the sunlight and his skin shone so perfectly, his hair a mess atop his head. mark thought he had never seen him look more beautiful.

"what did you dream about?" mark asked, reaching down and grabbing jackson's hand.

"it was really weird, prepare yourself. i was back in my old house with my family and all of a sudden a man in traditional clothing tried to sneak into my room through the window. as soon as i saw, i called my parents and they beat him as if they were spies or ninjas or something. then, i turned into you but i was still me, but i was also a ninja sneaking into my own house and—"

"i'll just stop you right there." mark laughed. "your dreams are always so weird."

"then, what did you dream about?" jackson asked, tilting his head adorably.

"i—hmm...i actually don't remember." mark furrowed his eyebrows, racking his brain for the slightest memory of his dream. "nope, nothing."

"yawn, how boring," jackson teased.

"you're so beautiful right now," mark said absentmindedly, cupping jackson's cheek with his free hand. "your skin is so soft, your eyes are so sparkly, your hair is the perfect color for you—everything about you seems unrealistically stunning."

"well, i'm real. see?" jackson confirmed this by pressing a lingering kiss to mark's eager lips. mark didn't mind the subtle taste of morning breath in his mouth because it was jackson, and to mark, everything about him was pleasant.

"i love you more than anything, jackson," mark said adoringly, giving jackson's hand a soft squeeze.

suddenly, mark couldn't hear.

he could see jackson saying 'i love you', but he couldn't hear him. then, jackson slowly started drifting away. their bed widened and the light from outside suddenly turned dark and cold. jackson disappeared completely, going up in dust. mark reached out for him before he completely dissipated and pulled back a handful of sand.

"jackson!" mark tried to cry out, unable to speak. he felt like he was breathing underwater, the pressure in his chest becoming greater. "jackson, please don't leave me!"

he startled himself awake. "jackson!" he called out, looking beside him to find the other half of the bed empty. "no, no, no!"

he remembered.

he remembered that jackson had died six months ago. a car crash in which mark had been at fault had killed him. he was distracted and drove them into a tree, the impact immediately killing jackson.

then, the flashbacks came. the times they've kissed, held hands, laughed together...all of it came back to him at once and, again, he felt like he was drowning. flashbacks of the accident hit next, the images of jackson laying in the hospital bed, and then those of him laying in the casket at his funeral.

mark tugged harshly at his hair, tears streaming down his face. he couldn't breathe and he fell to the ground when he tried to stand up.

"i don't know how i'm supposed to go on without him," mark whispered to himself, hugging his knees to his chest.

"another dream about him?" jinyoung asked from the door.

mark nodded, shakily lifting his head up. "it was different this time. we were so happy, jinyoung. i—" he couldn't finish.

"hey, hey... deep breaths, okay?" jinyoung got down into the floor next to mark and smiled sympathetically. "i won't say it's gonna be okay, because last time i did, you slapped me, but just know that he would never want to see you this upset. you were his whole world, his sunshine. he wouldn't want his sunshine to become clouded over."

mark's cries died down and he wiped at his eyes. the lump in his throat hurt as he took deep breaths, but he managed to calm himself. "i know you're right, i just... i need him. i need him here with me. i need his hugs and kisses and i need him to tell me he's fine. i want him to just walk through that door and say he's okay. i don't know how much longer i can handle this guilt."

"i know..."

"i wish i wasn't surrounded by reminders of him... his clothes are still in the closet, and i just can't throw them away. our pictures are still hanging," he motioned around the room. "i killed him, jinyoung. i can't live with myself. he was my one constant, my everything. and now i've destroyed it."

"stop blaming yourself! it's not your fault. this was god's will, you know that? it was jackson's time."

"no it wasn't! he was so young and full of life... he could've done great things for this world. how is got7 gonna be got7 without all seven of us? we're never gonna be the same." the tears started back up.

"i remember when i was trying to get jackson to confess to you. he was so jittery and he had this big goofball grin when he went to go look for you. i think that's one of my favorite memories of him," jinyoung said, a small smile playing on his lips.

"i remember that day." mark smiled sadly and started rattling off his favorite memories of jackson until he felt better.

"i'm trapped in this world of him, and ironically, he isn't even in it."


End file.
